Redesign progress: Oh, Sure Boss, It’s Nearly Done

Classes don’t *suck,* but they’ve certainly lost their gilded-lily edges. Which isn’t to say I don’t still love them. We drew circuit representations of Boolean operations today and I felt like a kid cut loose in a toy store. To say nothing of the fact that all three chem labs I’ve done so far have had an experimental percent error of less than +/- 5% (today’s was +/- 1%).

All the same. Ballet is kicking my ass (and I am LOVING it), and tap is frustrating as all hell because I have to choose between being in time with the rest of the class, or being in time with the music (and I always want the latter, but grudgingly go with the former). And physics is just another condescending reminder that math *is* a language, and like any foreign language, if you don’t use it consistently, you forget it. It’s been 4 years since I took Calc II, 6 years since I was in Calc I, and 7 years since I was in trig. Anti-derivatives and ArcSins? What? Judas Priest, do I have to do some serious review, and stat.

Rehearsals are rehearsals, and I have work super early tomorrow morning. I’m tired all the time, mostly because I don’t feel like I can look forward to the weekends right now– because there’s so much I can’t get done during the week that I feel obligated to do them on the weekends, but really, all I want to do over the weekend is NOTHING.

The Super Bowl is this weekend and I don’t really care as much as I used to. Last year’s was fun, mostly because there was an adorable little puppy at the party and I spent the halftime show squishing mud between my toes on Pacific Beach, but as of yet, I have no plans for Game Day and I’m quite fine with that.

I really don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I have so fricking much homework to do, and I’m not even half-done with my physics lab assignments.

Jing-bang golly.


6’s: Limited edition– 66.6% less crap!

6 arbitrary items I simply didn’t feel like posting in the Annex:

  1. It is solidly overcast this morning and all I can think is: San Francisco. I’m heartsick for the Bay Area right now.
  2. Ever since I was a kid, I thought that "Down by the banks…" hand-clapping song ended with "Hey Mister Lily Pad–". It wasn’t until yesterday that it dawned on me: the words are "He missed the lily pad–". Random.
  3. Fricking FREEZING right now. Is it really this cold, or is my body just fucked up again?
  4. I like the phrases "booking it" and "hoofing it." I like muttering to myself as I’m waiting at a red light on my way to the parking garage, "Goddamn, I’m going to have to book/hoof it across campus to get to class on time."
  5. I love blues dancing, and I make no apologies for that.
  6. Probably the best compliment on Friday was when that woman assumed S. and I were a couple, or at least had been dancing together for several years (we’d actually only met less than a week before and had only danced together a few times prior to that night).

Can’t wait until mid-March, when evenings and weekends will more or less be all mine again. Boom-shaka-laka-BOOM! (Or something.)

And despite the fact that he says “nu-cu-lar” all the damn time

Have you ever jokingly but deliberately mispronounced a word, and from that point on been unable to *not* hear that mispronunciation whenever you see that word?

I do it all the time. My most recent one is "memo," pronounced "mee-mo." Can’t get it out of my head, now.

Other people, of course, can inflict this upon you. My chemistry professor, who is brilliant, by the way, despite his hippy-whatever appearance, pointed out to us that "cation" is pronounced "CAT-eye-on," not "cay-shun," and now all I hear, of course, is "cay-shun"– and its partner-in-crime, the an-yun (vaguely rhyming with "onion"). And then I get distracted in class, wondering if the cations in Virginia are more relaxing and pleasant and exciting than anywhere else.

Fact: I haven’t cried in two months

I’ve been meeting a lot of new people recently, and inevitably, during the getting-to-know-each-other small talk, I get the question: "So what do you like to do for fun? What do you enjoy?"

I *HATE* this question.

Mostly, I think this is because I never have a good answer, or at least one that I can verbalize properly and coherently. I could tell you things I *wouldn’t* enjoy doing fairly easily: hunting, breaking and entering, eating mayonnaise, talking loudiy on my cell phone via a Bluetooth headset in a crowded public place, and so on. But the things I like to do? The things for which I have a passion? Jesus. Where to begin?

Because the truth of the matter is, even little, inconsequential things are things I love to do. Doing errands or laundry, cleaning out my desk, doing homework, going to class, seeing friends, sleeping in, reading books– in the end, it isn’t necessarily the *action* itself that I love so much. It’s the fact that the action exists. It’s the fact that I’m doing *something*, that I’m *out* there, doing something and being alive and reinforcing my tangible existence in this silly world.

Which smacks of flight-and-fancy a little, by my taste– bordering on spiritual or New-Agey or even reminiscent of shrink-speak. But god. It’s so much better than before, when I would have bad days turning into bad weeks turning into bad months, when anxiety gnawed incessantly away at my heart and there were so many moments when I couldn’t move a single muscle, but just stayed rooted to a chair or my bed with a thousand-yard stare glazing my eyes, paralyzed by the fear of my next move being the *wrong* move, which would then set off the rest of the day into chaos and confusion. Magical thinking. But there it is.

Continue reading

I should have a good rhythm down by February

Mondays and Wednesdays, my first class is at 8:30 and my last class gets out at 7:50. Tuesdays and Thursdays, classes don’t start until the afternoon– but on Thursday, I go to work around 8 a.m. and have just enough time after work to come home, change, and jet to campus– and end at 6:45. Fridays, classes run from 11 to 6.

And until the second week of March, I go straight from school to rehearsal, which gets out around 9 p.m., Monday through Friday.

And then– homework time! Yay!!

It’s hectic and crazy, but a *good* hectic and crazy. I’m still worried I’m not smart enough for this path– and still unsure as to exactly what kind of engineer it is I want to be (not to mention what kind of a career it is I want to *have*).

And I’m also really cracking down on myself this go-around. No skipping classes, no rote memorization without substantial comprehension, no doing the minimal effort required to get by. Most of the B’s I got at USD would have been A’s if it hadn’t been for my build-up of unexcused absences, or for my lofty disdain for opening textbooks and taking notes. And I feel bad about that– truth, I even felt bad about it at the time. It was an expensive education and I didn’t take full advantage of it because I didn’t particularly want my degree so much as I just wanted *a* degree, so much as I just wanted to be done with college and get into the Real Professional World, already.

Anyway. I’m being a Good Student now, reading chapters before class and taking thorough notes in class and studiously working through the recommended-not-required sets of homework problems to make sure I understand and am comfortable with the material.

Then again, it’s only the first week of classes.

It seems fairly common, at UNLV, for students to repeat a class two, three, even four times. And not because they *want* to, but because they can’t swing that passing grade. It boggles my mind.

I have to leave for work in five hours. This is going to be one long. ass. Thursday.

See? Procrastination can be a sweet, sweet reward sometimes.


So I wrote some time ago about the iFlops at Linens ‘n’ Things, except I didn’t really so much write about them as I did *mention* them. They seem to be a popular query hit, though, so I figured I owed it to the Internet to do my duty as a community-friendly consumer and do a proper write-up of these things, since I’ve now acquired one.

I wasn’t *going* to buy one, mind you. I wasn’t kidding when I said the things were lacking in crafstmanship– a not-that-hard tug on an iFlop’s fur, and it plucks right out. Hardly worth $20, even if it wasn’t really 20 of *my* bucks, but rather a $20 deduction from these frigging gift cards that I still have, nearly a year after having gotten them.

Each time I found myself in an LnT subsequent to the first post, I would gaze longingly at them. So furry! So squishy! So cuddly! So cute! I mean, LOOK AT THEM, MAN! They are ANIMALS wearing HEADPHONES that are actually SPEAKERS!

But then I didn’t even know if it would work with my music player, which is actually my phone, which you will be reading about tomorrow since apparently I never wrote about it, or the Treo 650 for that matter (oops). I didn’t know about the compatibility because my phone requires a special audio adapter in order to connect to a standard 3.5mm jack, and the one I ordered didn’t arrive until, oh, a week ago. Whence I promptly (six days later) hurried down to LnT to test the bugger out.

And lo! The iFlops had moved! To a special "CLEARANCE!" section. "50% off!" crowed a laminated yellow sign amidst the many furry iFlop animals hanging on the wall.

I connected the adapter to my phone. I connected the iFlop (I grabbed the penguin) to the adapter. I started playing a song. I turned the volume to max. And I waited.

And waited. No sound. No sound?

I blamed the adapter first. Then remembered that the song that was playing, Eva Cassidy’s "Wade in the Water," had a very quiet, and lengthy, intro. I switched songs and pressed the iFlop to my ear.

And b.a.r.e.l.y. heard the music streaming out of it.

I blamed the oppressing noise of the industrial vents and vacuums (the store was reassembling itself post-Christmas shopping frenzy), debated with myself for five minutes over penguin-vs-cow (cow won), then headed to checkout.

With the clearance reduction and the LnT coupon that they always have in their weekly ads, my iFlop was $8.

Except, after some experimentation in the quiet, quiet stillness of my room, I was chagrined by the discovery that the iFlop comes with one volume: not-loud.

At best, it’s audible. Connected to my phone, it’s lull-you-to-sleep quiet.

So *I* like to think of Daisy (what else would I name a cow?) as a super-soft and cuddly cow who just HAPPENS to be wearing HEADPHONES, IS THAT NOT FABULOUS?

In other words, her ability to connect to a music player and act as a portable speaker set?


Dead to me.

From here and there

-The really gorgeous ones are always crazy, though. ‘S like, the more beautiful they are, the crazier. [to me] Are you crazy?
– [sighs] It figures, you would be.


[while trying to load an already full dishwasher]

-So, basically, find a hole– it doesn’t matter where, just find a hole– and stuff it in.
-Sounds like the universal man’s philosophy. Oooh, and if there isn’t a space? We MAKE a hole! We MAKE it fit!
-See? You’re catching on.


[on the phone, reading off movie showings]

-Hey, "Stomp the Yard" came out!
-That would be a "no."
-Nope. What else?
-Boo. Um… I don’t know what most of these movies are about. "Primeval"?
-…What’d you say??
-Man, your Japanese is terrible.

WTF design change?

After I published that last entry, the styling for my entry headers completely changed on me. Wha..??

I haven’t touched my stylesheet. And I can’t figure out why they would suddenly change. Which means I also can’t figure out how to change them back.

It’s a sign. ::hopeless shrug:: Time for a design overhaul, indeed.

Wednesday is the new Two-Fer Tuesday

("Two-Fer Thursday" doesn’t have the same assonance. Shut up.)

The kids at Jamba tonight screwed up my order, so I got the accident smoothie on top of my intended smoothie.

Rehearsal got out early, so it was only half as long (1/2 = inverse of 2).

Because rehearsal got out early, I went to It’s A Grind and I got a free muffin in addition to the one I ordered because apparently, after 4 p.m., baked goods are buy-one-get-one-free.


I drove a 4-wheeler today, for the first time ever. I can definitely see its appeal.

And school starts in… six days. And I still haven’t, um, gotten my books. (Oops?)

I’m starting to panic. The ever-looming question of priorities and time-management has been pressing in closer and closer with each passing hour, and as good as I am at ignoring things– I know I need to deal with this one, and soon.

I need an out-of-town fix.