In my feverish misery early Saturday night, I stretched out my left arm to rearrange a pillow and knives of pain suddenly shot through my entire forearm, originating at my elbow and ending at my wrist. I don’t know what happened (pinched nerve?), but ever since, if I try to extend my arm beyond 120 degrees, there is unbelievable pain. Which then induces a coughing fit, those wheezy, hacking, spasmodic coughs that leave you breathless afterward.
I’m– I’m kind of pissed. I won’t lie. This? It’s kicking me while I’m down, it’s rubbing salt into a raw, gaping cut. First the beastly (return of the) UTI, then the coughing and the fever, and now this. And of course, I thought this would be one of those pains that would go away, as spontaneously as it had arrived, but no. Idiot that I am, I kept forgetting all Sunday and would automatically reach for something, or try to do something, with my left arm/hand, and the next thing you knew, I’d be in a gasping, breathless ball on the floor.
So, I bought a sling. A goddamned sling.
Bigger idiot that I am, I can’t stop taking it off every once in a while "just to check." Does it still hurt when I do this? I do it. Hey, where’d Lora go? Oh, she’s back on the floor. Yeah, it still hurts.
What’s that? Just *how* big of an idiot am I? The last time I "checked"? I got distracted after I recovered from the pain and forgot to put the sling back on. And then automatically reached for something with my left hand.
I don’t know how I ever learned lessons as a kid. If I’ve always been this way, doubtless I entertained thoughts like hey, maybe this time the stove won’t be hot, or, maybe this time the knives won’t be sharp! Which suddenly makes me think of this.
My right hand and arm are *pissed*. They cannot *believe* how much work I am making them do now that my left side is out of commission. After about five minutes of using chopsticks during lunch today, my right hand decided it had had enough of that nonsense, cramped up, and refused to operate again until I got a stupid fork.
Anyway. Now I get to start the school semester all dizzy and gimpy and wearing a stupid sling. OH YAY.