Fuck. I just realized if it IS pregnant and I DO keep it alive, it’s going to have its freaking poisonous killer revenge babies in that jar. I can barely handle looking at ONE live spider. I will scream if that jar becomes filled with hundreds of billions of live, crawling, eight-legged EWWWWW.
Uh. Oh. So, the worst part about this fiasco, besides having to trap it in a jar and then carry the jar around with me everywhere without a lid because of my paranoia? The worst part has probably been scouring the Internet to identify what the hell kind of spider this is. Hundreds of spider pictures. HUNDREDS. All of them close-up and detailed. All the muscles in my neck and shoulders are ridiculously tense from having to scroll through these pictures. All those legs and pincers and EYES.
Anyway. I’m pretty sure it’s a brown recluse; they’re common out here in the desert and now that it’s in a jar I’ve gotten a REALLY UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE LOOK at its giant pincers. And I think, if I didn’t do this already, I’ve identified my SUPER GIANT MONSTER SPIDER OF DOOM! from San Diego as a camel spider. Which apparently isn’t even a spider at all? And supposedly isn’t even poisonous? Except there are a few testimonies that camel spider ARE venomous and no offense, majority opinion on the internet, but I’m gonna side with those guys.