Thing = things = thing. Plural, singular, whatever.

Things that make a homecoming awesome:

  • Registration tags finally arriving 1.5 months after sending in my renewal! Plus evidence that they finally updated my mailing address! (Third time's a charm!)
  • A reimbursement check from the DMV for $6! (I'm assuming this had a part in why it took so long to process my registration, though I could just be overly generous with this thought)
  • A rebate VISA gift card from AT&T for my phone! (I had 2 months to mail in that rebate and didn't think to do it until a few days after the envelope had to be postmarked… I mailed it anyway because I only had a stamp to lose, so, yeah, I'm pretty tickled they gave me the rebate after all)

Things that make a homecoming less awesome:

  • A second notice from my HOA stating I still need to get rid of the weeds in my front yard.
    • Note 1: Admittedly, yes, earlier this year I was having an issue with weeds. I'm not a fan of extraneous chemical sprays, so I usually just pull budding weeds up by hand here and there when I remember, but I kept not being home, so the weeds… got a bit out of control.
    • Note 2: Yet when I got the first notice about a month ago, I actually looked at my front yard and was startled to see that somehow, all my weeds were gone. It's a classic Demetri Martin mystery novel thriller: "Hey, Who Weeded My Yard?"
    • Note 3: So you can imagine my annoyance at the receipt of this second notice, until I saw that they included a photo of the offending weed, whereupon you perhaps cannot imagine the flames of indignation that consequently engulfed me because HERE'S THE THING:
      • The photo was of this tall, willowy tree with pretty pink blossoms.
      • This tree is deliberately planted in the backyards of many of the houses in these neighborhoods, by the community builder.
      • But because it hadn't deliberately been planted in my front yard, because it was a result of a wayward tree seed implanting itself of its own reckless accord and then arrogantly choosing to grow and thrive without applying for a permit to do so, it was considered a weed. A WEED.
      • What's more, the stupid bushes that were deliberately planted? Look more like weeds in that they grow all out-of-control and spindly-like. I never got to choose them and if I ever want to replace them (and I can't just pull them out, they have to be replaced because I have to have X number of plants in the yard at all times), I have to apply for permission to do so.
      • So basically, I'm paying my HOA every month to harangue me about the upkeep of crap in my yard that I never wanted in the first place.

I ended up cutting down the tree, just to shut them up. It was actually really sad for me– I had honeybees visiting that tree daily, but hopefully now they've redirected themselves to the sprawling overgrown mint plant that has completely overtaken an entire corner of my back yard and which I can't bring myself to prune down because of– full circle!– the bees. I have packets of black-eyed Susans and some other really bee-friendly flower seed that I keep meaning to plant, but I can never get the season right. But the bees! The bees, man, I feel so bad for them, and my unkempt mint monster has proven to appeal to at least some of them in the past, so wild and flowering my mint monster remains.

CONCLUSIVE BONUS! Things that make a homecoming a tad speedier:

  • Being picked up from the airport in an RV.

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