Michael Scott != Darrin Stevens

We've been doing P90X (as well as, it seems, the rest of this crazy nation) and from Day 2, I can't get through a single routine without thinking about how, if Steve Carell ever wanted to leave "The Office" and NBC just *had* to keep the show running with his character, Tony Horton should be the first guy on the list to call.

Or how there ought to be an episode wherein Michael 1) denounces how completely unfunny Tony Horton's jokes are, or 2) declares Tony Horton his funny-man muse.

And then this morning, our first round of Core Synergistics (which is the only one so far I despise; I'd rather do two rounds of pilates)– THERE'S A GIRL NAMED PAM. "Pam the Blam!" as Tony sings out in the beginning, then later re-introduces her as "Plam". Oh, Tony. Such a kidder.

And NOW, this: http://uk.eonline.com/uberblog/watch_with_kristin/b187949_steve_carell_confirms_hes_leaving.html

Fate. This is fated. I only hope the cast and crew of "The Office" is ready to bring it.

Nobody talks about your mom like that to me, see?

The pavement was all kinds of bad-mouthing your mom the other day while I was riding my bike, so I jumped off and gave it a piece of my mind. I've got your back like that, Internet.

IMG00034-20100613-1450

 Alternatively, I was crossing the street (on bike) down by the piers after dinner. There was a gradual curb at the median strip, and I only saw the gradual.

(P.S.: that bottom knuckle on my small finger? Still swollen from when it got slammed by a football. IN MARCH. Sigh.)

I WASN’T CRAZY!!! or, My Hat is Not Miraculous After All

A few months ago, Noah and I were out doing morning errands and getting bagels. He was driving and I was fussing with my knit hat.

I hadn't bothered to grab my glasses before we left, and I quickly got tired of squinting out the windows and trying to distinguish between the blurry objects moving by (his foggy windows weren't helping). And at one point, I pulled my hat down over my eyes and pretended I was on my way to rob the bagel store out of all their pumpkin cream cheese.

Suddenly, I noticed I could see through the hat. And not just see through the tiny holes between the yarn– but *see* with *clarity*. I could see details on buildings! I could read signs that were far away! And I announced all this and more to Noah, who couldn't have been less impressed (or interested) with my clear-vision play-by-plays.

The incident's been on my mind ever since, especially when my glasses are annoying me (occasional) or when my contacts are acting up (frequent). I dabbled in photography for long enough to understand the concept of minimizing aperture to reduce the amount of light that can pass through and increase focus (like with pinhole photography), but part of me still thought I owned a miracle hat.

And then tonight, I was reading through a slew of comments on Costco's optical department, and out of nowhere, someone posted a link to Pinhole Glasses:

Customers who have purchased pinhole glasses from us report that they experience better clarity and resolution of vision when wearing them. Some have commented that they achieve almost perfect vision, and rank our pinhole glasses as equal in performance to their prescription eyeglasses.

Foiled again! My hopes and dreams for magic-wielding fashion accessories are no match for science.

Then again, this stuff comes from people who insist that the "attractive style, durability and lightweight design [of Pinhole Glasses] make them an ideal replacement for eyeglasses":

Pinhole-matte_zoom
 

Well, even so. SCIENCE. (Right? Science?)