Before he said “Natalie Portman”, my first guess was going to be “P.S. I Love You”, but that’s Gerard Butler. Also, not Julia Roberts.

“He also recommended– no, wait, he’s looking forward to seeing ‘True Grit’.”

“What’s that about?”

“It’s a western? Something like that. With what’s-his-name. Owen Wilson?”

“Ugh. Really?”

“Or, no, Clive Owen?”

“Oh! I like him.”

“Or Clive Olsen?”

“Uh, no.”

“Really? There’s not someone named Clive Olsen? That sounds like it could be someone’s name!”

“No.”

“Clive Olsen! Okay, wait, Clive Owen is the guy with the crooked nose? The other male model?”

“That’s Owen Wilson.”

“Are you sure there’s not a Clive Olsen?”

“You’re thinking of the Olsen twins.”

“Well who’s Clive Owen, then?”

“He was that guy in that movie that you have, with Julia Roberts. And Natalie Portman.”

“…”

“…”

“… ‘Stepmom’?”

[Edit: I just looked up the cast for “True Grit”. There are no Clives, Owens, Wilsons or Olsens anywhere in the first billing. I need to start subscribing to Star Magazine or something.]

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