Can’t lose


Today marks the beginning of my golden year.

Now, first things first: I don’t put a lot of emphasis on my birthday, typically. The only other birthday I remember vividly looking forward to was my 23rd, and I have never been able to figure out why being 23 was such an enormous deal to me. But I was convinced that 23 was going to be an exceptional year… and, looking back, it was kind of was. And I do remember being very excited about being 23 that entire year.

This one… is a little different. This is almost too close to things like palm reading and astrology for comfort, but while I’m not a superstitious type (or at least not seriously; I half-subscribe to magical thinking but know I’m being ridiculous for doing so)– my golden year! Turning 28 on the 28th! Sure, this year could very well be like any other year, as far as the world is concerned*, but isn’t life what you make of it? And this is as good an excuse as any to do my damnedest to get the most out of the next 365 days.

(Oh. 2012 is a leap year. 366 days! IT’S A SIGN.) 

I’ve never made an official life list, and I don’t know if I really want to make one, but this will be the year I finally accomplish things I have wanted to do since ever (like go to Wales, properly). Since mid-September, my life has been in perpetual motion, and I’d like to continue that momentum through Year 28. Truth be told, I’m not always sure which direction things are taking me, but I do know it’s forward. Or up? Both? You get the idea.

I’ve been cooking and baking and food-experimenting a ton more recently, with surprisingly high success, and I have plans and people (plans with people?) to keep that going. I’ve picked up new hobbies and interests and am working still on cultivating the old ones– ditto with friendships. Admittedly, I took a break from decorating my house, but I bought a lot of great artwork that now just needs to be framed and hung, and I’m slowly sketching out ideas for the last two rooms. Year 28 is going to be a year of Doing More and Waiting Less, which sounds like I’m encouraging impatience, and yeah, maybe I am. I was going to contest that, but the truth is, in these days and weeks leading up to turning 28, I’ve lost my patience with unnecessary waiting and holding off and hemming and hawing. I’ll still wait for something worthwhile– you won’t see me taking off for Wales tomorrow (the weather would be just awful this time of year, and anyway, it’s meant to be early summer)– but I’m also much more adept at recognizing a lost cause, these days. 

To quote an ever-quotable scene: “Get mad, you sons of bitches! Get mad!

My life was a self-induced whirlwind of chaos and cacophony for so many (so, so many) years. After it finally settled down, I embraced the peaceful change so blindly that I failed to notice the stale silence that crept in. So now, I’m kicking up the dust again, but on my own terms, and with clear eyes this time… and, yes, a full heart as well. 

Here’s to my golden year. I hope it’s golden for you, too.



*As far as the world is concerned, this year could very well be filled with DISASTERS. Like, my cat could decide she wants to pursue a life of forever chasing squirrels and run away from home. Then again, maybe that’s less of a disaster and more of an opportunity to finally get a kitten. Hm.



3 thoughts on “Can’t lose

  1. haha, mizz Abe, we could both visit Wales quite easily this year, in the summer if you want. quite boring, really, if i do say so myself. british novels romanticize all sorts of crap, and that’s probably your problem – a result of romanticizing times when britland ruled the world and everything was dandy. it ain’t so anymore
    so, get over thinking it’s some weird life-goal or whatever, to go to wales. you should find something else to care about
    i should visit england again this year, though. did it last year. took trains all over the country. family all over the place. nearly went to goddamned scotland (done it before)! wales ain’t out of the way if you want to go
    never been to europe, the continent

  2. No, no romanticizing. I just want to see all the places where shit went down in the “Dark is Rising” books. I want to see hills and rain and sheep and lakes and farms and fences and birds. I want to see the boring stuff and listen to people speaking the mumbly incomprehensible lovely language that is Welsh, and I want to go to Cornwall. June. So excited!

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