I didn’t even know I *had* a “Television” category

I finally and successfully bought and watched "The Office": Season Three.

  • Yes, the ending made me cry (not, like, buckets, but– oh, shut up), and
  • I like Season Two better. Michael had three moments in S2 that almost completely redeemed every horrifying and humiliating and painful-to-endure thing that came out of his mouth, but in S3 he was pretty much just a 100% cringe-fest [1].

Speaking of "The Office": I just had about two hours of my life sucked happily away by Mindy Kaling’s blog:

I like hoity toity department stores. What I hate is places like EMS or
whatever where people talk about kayaks and rope and boring shit like
that. I like people inquiring how my shopping experience is going.
They’re like short-lived friends. (original post)

I’m lucky it was only 11 months of archives. Her writing voice reminds me of Erin.

Incidentally (I feel like I use this word in excess. Which suggests I probably do), I got the link to that blog from Knowledge For Thirst, which is co-manned by Kevin Fanning (!!). The K4T archives are a treasure trove, particularly the posts prior to November 2006. And if you like K4T, it would be worth your time to check out Cochinowledge, though I guess it loses a lot of its humor if you aren’t K4T-saturated, so… I don’t know. Whatever. It’s the weekend, go outside already!

[1] Oh, wait, no, not true. His solitary redeeming moment came at Pam’s art show. But S2 was still better.


C’mon c’mon think– BIG!! (one. little. voice.)

Watching Beck perform "Clap Hands" on SNL reminded me of a video I saw a good while ago but really liked, "music for six drummers and one apartment," and that got me thinking back to the *original* daily-life-object percussionist, the man who really sparked a revolutionary interest in this genre of performance through his charismatic presence and undeniable talent.

You may have heard of him: one Skeeter Valentine, of "Bangin’ On A Trash Can" fame.

I found the original video on YouTube. The audio is pretty sucky, but worth enduring just for that one scene when Doug-as-Michael-Jackson starts dancing with some "It’s A Small World" representatives.

A couple of people have made their own music videos for the song, but the videos mostly suck. What *don’t* suck, however, are videos people have made set to the music of internationally-acclaimed The Beets.

"Killer Tofu" is the most popular song covered. This video by ApplewoodProductions has some nice editing, but the one by Theorganizer has the best performance overall. Theorganizer also did a video for "I Need Mo’ Allowance." Dude in the fez has the best facial expression, EVER.

There’s also an animated tribute to The Beets’ hit songs, the two already mentioned as well as "Shout Your Lungs Out." With the exception of two or three unnecessarily vulgar drawings (I mean, COME ON, this is a Nicktoon we’re talking about!), it’s cute. My favorite shot:


Clearly, this kid needs mo’ allowance.

(Inability to sleep = too much time on YouTube.)

One more day until “The Office” premier… I’m doing a Happy Stoll Dance! as you read this.

On Sunday, I sucked it up and bought Season Two of "The Office" (NBC)
from Costco and have been getting through the episodes gradually. The
last one I’d gotten to see was the Christmas party episode, but I’d somehow
missed three episodes earlier in the season… so that was a nice

I *do* like the little blips of humanity and sincerity that
occasionally shine through Michael’s otherwise-omnipresent stupidity.
At the end of the Hallowe’en episode with the trick-or-treaters; at the
ice skating rink when he gives his Realtor’s kids a ride across the
ice; on the boat when he tells Jim to "never give up"; after he listens
to himself as a child say that he wants to grow up and get married and
have 100 kids so that he can have 100 friends and none of them can say
no to being his friend.

I’m tearing up again. It’s that week, yeah, but I also *just* watched
the final episode. And, I’d known ahead of time that Jim *tells* Pam,
but I didn’t know about the final scene. I choked up during his
confession (especially since I knew what she was going to say), but
then the ending came and there was spillage.

(Side note/backtrack: now I’m wondering if it was deliberate on the writers’
part, that most of Michael’s sympathetic moments occur with kids

So… perfect timing, really, since Season Three begins on Thursday. Yay!

And was the editing not *perfect* for the end of "The Carpet," when all of Jim’s office voicemails from Pam are playing? Oh. Oh!

And her skip as she follows Jim to the vending machine so he can buy
the jinx-breaking Coke? I love that skip! I know that skip! Many a time
did I skip through Ex-Co.’s office in such a fashion. I’d say I miss
the people I worked with there, but the ones I had a great friendship
with then? I’m still friends with them now.

Except, wait, what if Pam really *isn’t* attracted to Jim in that way?
Yes, she kissed him back, but… maybe she was just being passive? And
confused? Passivity and confusion are never a good combination [1]. In all
of her personal interviews, she’s never talked about Jim in a way that
could be misleading, whereas Jim has, on a number of occasions, implied
his attraction to Pam (as well as full-out confessed it). Or, it could have been a sympathy kiss. Remember "Love Actually," near the end, when Juliet runs out and kisses Mark? Sympathy kisses, they do exist.

Some people on the message boards (I was trying to find out when S3
begins, shut up) argue that of course Pam has deeper, if not
subconscious, feelings for Jim and argue that her strangled phone
confession to her mother– "I don’t know, Mom, he’s my best friend…
yeah, he’s great… yeah, I think I am"– is proof, and "I think I am"
meant "I think I’m in love with him."

But she never identifies Jim by name (ever! I just replayed the
scene!), and who’s to say she doesn’t consider her fiance a best
friend? And even if in that instance, she was referring to Jim, it
doesn’t mean her mother’s last question wasn’t something like, "But are
you still going to marry Roy?"

Or, "Well, sweetheart, you’re just going to have to tell Jim that it can’t ever be that way between you two."

Don’t get me wrong– if they were real people, I’d *want* them
together. But as show characters? The romantic tension makes for more
interesting episodes.

Still, no "Lost" for me, thanks. The bitterness of yonder days aside– as
stated before, I just can’t do slow-ass dramas, and I cannot emphasize
strongly enough the slow-assness of *that* drama. I’m just really,
really not a television person. Thankfully, I am a queen of encouraging
and engaging "Oh really! Wow! (I have no idea what you’re talking
about)" facial expressions that get me through the moments when group
conversations turn to whatever shows were on the night before.

[1] Trust. Me. The failure rate of going all "Dawson’s Creek" in real life is something like 72%, and that’s only reported statistics. Who *knows* the reality of the numbers of girls who just get flustered and break off the kiss and only say something like, "Oh, well, it’s late, busy day tomorrow, I should really get going– um, okay, ‘bye then, talk to you later" (leaving the ballsy guy not knowing anything of certainty); then smile or laugh uncomfortably, get into their cars, drive away, seamlessly manipulate future circumstances so that they are never alone with the guy, and then obscurely write about it years later on the Internet? [2]

[2] A good majority of my stronger friendships right now are with guys who are either a) taken or b) gay. So, you know, not a whole lot of opportunity for future-date-finding there, but I also avoid getting accused later on of attempted seducery. So, hey! Trade-off.

Back to thinking *inside* the (idiot) box

Just for the record, this is all The Guy’s fault.

Our current DVR lineup:

Sunday: Curb Your Enthusiasm, Extras (HBO)
Monday: Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Travel Channel), Kitchen Confidential (Fox)
Tuesday: The Office (NBC), Gilmore Girls (The WB)

…okay, so it’s not as bad as I for some reason thought it was. But given that I never used to watch television *at all*, it feels like my life has suddenly deposited itself on the couch. And "Gilmore Girls," yeah, so I’m the one who programmed the weekly recordings of "Gilmore Girls" and I did it without even asking The Guy if it was okay, but COME ON, Lorelai and Luke are engaged! And Lorelai and Rory are estranged! And there’s a dog named Paul Anka! And really, if it weren’t for the beauty of DVR, I still wouldn’t be watching this show because I’m just no good at committing myself to the time slot of 8 to 9 p.m. every Tuesday.

And if it weren’t for The Guy, there would be no DVR in my life. Which brings me back to my original statement: this is all his fault. Even "Gilmore Girls." The full-blown return of my "Gilmore Girls" addiction is so totally his fault. (And have you SEEN Lorelai’s ring? Have you SEEN the size of that rock? Who knew owning a diner could be so lucrative? Or, ha ha, Luke-rative! Okay, enough of this, it’s time to go to bed. See what watching TV does to a person?)